Previously: The rants and ramblings of a stubborn, sarcastic, opinionated, romantic cynic.
Now basically: Little snippets of my life with a preschooler and a school-aged kid.
Friday, March 31, 2006
Wherein my sarcasm gets the best of me.
I recognize that I'm not a songwriter. I know that I'd probably do poorly at it and due to that, haven't really tried. And yet, there are times when it just doesn't seem fair that some songs get famous. Many, many times. Take this little number that I heard on the radio just the other day. It wasn't until I started singing along (she admits, sheepishly) that I realized how odd this song is.
Islands In The Stream Baby, when I met you there was peace unknown [um, so, she DIDN’T give you peace?] I set out to get you with a fine tooth comb[WHAT? A COMB?] I was soft inside, there was somethin' going on[Yeah, it’s called food poisoning.] You do something to me that I can't explain[Ahh, so THAT clarifies this confusing song.] Hold me closer and I feel no pain [Well, not TOO close ‘cause then I DO feel pain.] Every beat of my heart We got somethin' goin' on [Yup, I double-checked, it’s "we". Apparently "we’ve" is just not artistic enough?] Tender love is blind[So, you wrote that down and thought "oooh, this is GOOD!"?] It requires a dedication All this love we feel Needs no conversation [‘Kay, here’s a suggestion: SHUT-UP then.] We ride it together, ah-ah [Blush.] Makin' love with each other, ah-ah[snicker.] Islands in the stream [What?] That is what we are[Huh?] No one in-between [Are these just random bits thrown together to be a chorus?] How can we be wrong [Well, I can think of ONE way: pretending you’re songwriters.] Sail away with me to another world [I thought you were islands? I’m so confused.] And we rely on each other, ah-ah From one lover to another, ah-ah[‘Kay I’m definitely not catching on here. So, she’s just kind of your "for now" lover? Until you get to the next one?] I can't live without you if the love was gone [I know I’m getting repetitive here but "huh?"] Everything is nothin' if you got no one [Whoa! Mind blowing.] And you did walk in tonight Slowly losen' sight of the real thing [So, grammar is just not an issue when you’re a songwriter?] But that won't happen to us and we got no doubt Too deep in love and we got no way out [Help! The island is sinking!] And the message is clear [Well, not exactly CLEAR.] This could be the year for the real thing [Ah, so the Real Thing is just for this YEAR. Ah, I’m getting it now. "from one lover to another." Mmm-hmm. I hear ya!] No more will you cry [Wow! That’s some promise!] Baby, I will hurt you never [Really? Never? Now you’re just being silly, right?] We start and end as one, in love forever [Um, so you’re kinda like God? But like a couple?] We can ride it together, ah-ah Makin' love with each other, ah-ah
The thing about being your own boss is that there are no deadlines and no repercussions. Sure, I might SET a deadline but I know that I'm not going to get mad and I know that there won't be any brokers shrieking on the phone because I promised to have the fridge cleaned out by Thursday.
I keep thinking having some goals and a to do list would be a good idea. I think about it... and then I go back to reading blogs or watching tv or cuddling with my girl.
The problem with shrieking at the top of your lungs due to say, your mother ignoring you, is that you've got nowhere to go when something really horrid happens like your mother putting you down for a nap.
I'd read awhile ago that when you start reading to your baby it's best to start with books with rhymes as your child will respond to the sing-songy rhythm early on. Wow, so true for Abby. Her favorite books: (seriously! These two already make her smile nearly every time I read them.)
This afternoon as I was doing up the dishes from last night’s dinner "party" I started thinking about food (yes, that’s right, I do that sometimes. Come on, admit it, you do too.) and I realized I am completely caught in the middle of being an intense food snob and being incredibly lowbrow in my cooking and eating habits.
On one hand, watching the food network gives me great pleasure. I enjoy seeing new and interesting cooking ideas and adding to my repertoire of recipes. On the other hand, I completely tire of the attitude in a lot of the shows. Really, fresh figs, hand-picked and flown in from Australia this morning? Or, seriously, Emeril, red wine poached guava with goat cheese cake? You’re sooo just trying to show off!
On one hand, I LOVE to try out new recipes and thoroughly enjoy tracking down interesting ingredients. I prefer fresh herbs over dried and authentic ethnic recipes over Northamericanized ones. On the other hand, I don’t nearly always want to cook and can be just as happy having baked beans or a hot dog for supper.
On one hand, trying out new out-of-the-way, non-run-of-the-mill restaurants and not being afraid of menus gives me great joy. On the other hand, I can happily find something not only to eat but enjoy in a mall food court or your average fast-food restaurant.
Basically, what I think I’ve accomplished is a lonely, deserted middle-ground. Too snobby to suit a lot of people and too uncultured to suit others. Sucks to be me.
Just sitting here, baby in my arms (who, incidentally, is alternately picking at her tiny toes and madly trying to get at the keyboard to start her own blog entitled "Help! My mother is ignoring me!"), listening to some music and realizing how happy I am. My family at the left. My home.
Feels Like Home Well, if you knew how much this moment means to me And how long I've waited for your touch And if you knew how happy you are making me I never thought that I'd love anyone so much
It feels like home to me, it feels like home to me It feels like I'm all the way the back where I come from It feels like home to me, it feels like home to me It feels like I'm all the way back where I belong - Chantal Kreviazuk
An equinox in astronomy is the moment when the sun passes over the equator. The event occurs twice a year, around March 21 and September 23. The word equinox derives from the Latin word for equal night. The equinoxes are the two days each year when the middle of the sun is an equal amount of time above and below the horizon for every location on earth.
If we had no winter, the spring would not be so pleasant; if we did not sometimes taste of adversity, prosperity would not be so welcome. - Anne Bradstreet
This may not be as polished as I’d ideally like it to be but I need to get this written down before I forget. Before some of the crispness of these memories fade.
In Les Miserables Jean Valjean, after spending some time in jail, is finally released. Upon his release he is shown hospitality by a bishop. He repays his host’s hospitality by stealing his silverware. However, he does not get away with it and the police capture him. When he is brought back, the bishop protects him and pretends that the silverware is a gift. It is a powerful portrayal of grace and Valjean is encouraged to remember this moment in one of my favorite songs from the musical:
My friend you left so early Surely something slipped your mind You forgot I gave these also Would you leave the best behind? Remember this, my brother See in this some higher plan You must use this precious silver To become an honest man By the witness of the martyrs By the passion and the blood God has raised you out of darkness I have bought your soul for God!
In the Bible, God shows some similar grace to the Israelites who have been captured and in slavery for many years. He leads them out of the situation but they too are warned (Exodus 13:13-14; Deuteronomy 6:12) not to forget where they came from.
I became a mother at the age of 35. I had spent years celebrating from the sidelines. I loved my nieces and nephews as much as an aunt could. But, it was a peripheral relationship and I knew it.
In the last week Abigail has been cranky in someone else’s arms more than once. I would take her and in a few moments have been able to soothe her. For 35 years I have had to pass the child back to his/her mother when the crankiness wouldn’t stop. I do not take this for granted. I do not take this lightly. I have never been the one.
Years ago a friend of mine made an embroidered wall hanging for my mom. It was about grandchildren and at the bottom of the piece were the names of Mom’s grandchildren. On occasion I would have to pass this sampler back to my friend so that she could embroider the newest grandchild’s name on it. This week, it’s sitting in my house, waiting for me to pass it on to have my child’s name added to it. I honestly never thought that would be the case.
Years from now being a mother will seem like something I've always done. Familiar and probably at times even a little undesirable. But, no matter what, I never want to forget where I came from.
So we’re okay We’re fine Baby I’m here to stop your crying Chase all the ghosts from your head I’m stronger than the monster beneath your bed Smarter than the tricks played on your heart We’ll look at them together then we’ll take them apart Adding up the total of a love that’s true Multiply life by the power of two
This year for lent I decided to give up snacks. All snacks. Basically, anything other than my 2-3 meals is a no-no. So far, not too much of a problem. Well, yesterday I had to spit out a grape that I bit into without thinking but that's really the only issue to date. That was, until today. This afternoon and early evening I went to visit my mom. Oy-yoy-yoy! She had count 'em: - 5 types of candy - 2 types of cookies - 2 types of nuts - 3 types of fruit in various dishes around her home. I can't even BEGIN to tell you how much of a struggle it was not to pop a cashew or marshmallow candy in my mouth.
As a movie lover I find the list of upcoming titles disheartening. In the next month there's basically one I'm looking forward to. Sigh. Here's hoping there are some lesser known Canadian or foreign films coming to Globe.
March 10 Ask the Dust Duck Season Failure to Launch The Heart Is Deceitful Above All Things The Hills Have Eyes The Libertine The Shaggy Dog Trudell
March 17 The Devil's Miner Don't Come Knocking Find Me Guilty She's the Man Thank You for Smoking V for Vendetta The Zodiac
March 24 Adam & Steve The Child Inside Man The Lady in Question Is Charles Busch Larry the Cable Guy: Health Inspector Lonesome Jim Stay Alive
March 31 Awesome: I F**kin' Shot That Basic Instinct 2: Risk Addiction Brick The Devil and Daniel Johnston Ice Age 2: The Meltdown Slither
I'm having my bath this morning (okay, okay, it was afternoon. Sue me! I didn't get dressed until the afternoon. Let it be known, I also haven't had breakfast or lunch yet. That's right, too lazy and uninspired. Warts enough for you?) and she's doing what she usually does during this time (besides drooling) - sitting in her bouncy seat. Usually, she sits there happily playing with the attached toys while I bathe. This morning, just my luck (see previous posts) she is getting frustrated. REALLY frustrated. I'm sure everyone else would have interpreted her cries to mean that she was hungry or tired but I'm her MOM, we know the difference. (sarcasm completely intended) I try to please her by bobbing my head out of the tub and exclaiming something really fun and smart like "hey"; "hello" or "boogabooga". Again, I'm her mom, that brilliant repartee came with the title. And, as fun and brilliant as I'm being it's having little to no effect (or is it affect, just too lazy to check right now) on her.
WHAT is it? (I know there was no reason for a new paragraph, I just did that to keep you interested.) And then it happened. I had a lightbulb moment. An "aha!" if you will. She is frustrated with her toys. You see, they are attached to the bouncy seat. Translation: She cannot get them into her MOUTH. Remove the toys and she's fine. Bored but at least not frustrated.
Man I'm smart. Seriously, this parenting stuff is a piece of cake. (Please ignore my previous post.)
Where's her cousin do the crazy cousin dance for her? or Where's her auntie to sing "don't be sad or bad or mad..." to her? or more than anything else Where's her daddy to walk her down the hall singing to her?
I'm just not cut out for being a single parent. Two days of near nonstop crying and I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO.