Saturday, October 19, 2013

tweet tweet

Truth is, most social media (yes, including blogs) kind of annoys me. But, then again, I'm easily annoyed. And yet, for whatever reason, I enjoy Twitter. I don't personally tweet. And, withholding a couple of exceptions, I don't really follow anyone I know in real life. But, I will follow ANYONE who can make me laugh regularly. I mean, I like to laugh anyway but if you can make me smile or laugh in 140 characters or less well my hat goes off to you and I don't even wear a hat. Here are some recent faves. Sorry I didn't include their handles but I don't feel like advertising their twitter accounts. (#5 and #8 are my SUPER favorites.)

  1. Oh you don’t believe everyone in America should own a gun? Well I guess SOMEBODY never saw the last 40 minutes of Tremors. Get educated, pal.
  2. It's so wrong how the tooth fairy pays baby sharks just 10p per tooth, pops them on necklaces and sells them to surfers for a huge profit.
  3. Just saw Captain Phillips. Pretty inaccurate. Not a single pirate wore guyliner.
  4. If I could have any super power it would be to instantly see what Internet comments a person has made when we first shake hands.
  5. Getting older is hard, but eventually it stops.
  6. "Any piece of information is 20% more credible if it appears to be a quote".
  7. Congratulations, parents! The names yelled at dog parks are now less weird than the names yelled at playgrounds.
  8. Did you guys know that at Chili's if you tell them its your birthday they'll go in the kitchen and feel sad for you?
  9. I wish I could be half as enthusiastic about anything as Microsoft Word is about a footer being "out of the printable area".
  10. I’m not a lawmaker, but I was thinking that if you have a really loud ring tone, maybe you should be stabbed in the ear?


Anonymous Anonymous said...

It is comforting to know there are sarcastic jerks out there still, with a friendly sense of humour.

3:00 PM  
Blogger corrie said...

ha ha! #7 is so true!

10:58 AM  

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