Tuesday, February 01, 2005

Dear Dad

Dear Dad.

I wonder if you know how much I miss you.


I haven't seen you 555 days as of today. A lot has changed in that time. Paul Martin is now our prime minister. George W. Bush got in for a second term. You remember the Passion of the Christ movie that was being talked about? It did really well at the box office and Mel Gibson did a very good (if not graphic) job of telling the story. Saddam Hussein was captured and Yasser Arafat died. The Olympics took place last year although Canada didn't fare all that well. All things I know we would have discussed in great detail around that kitchen table while you spooned jam onto your bun.

We don't get to and it ticks me off a lot of times.

But that's not all. I got married last year. It was a beautiful day. I wished you could have been there. Mom put on a happy face for me while she walked me down the aisle. We both hid the fact that our hearts were broken that you weren't on the other side of me. Head slightly bent while you attempted to hide your sly smile. I am very jealous that you spoke at Brad, Dwight and Heather's weddings but not at mine. Very jealous and very angry. Sometimes I just want to stomp my feet on the floor and throw a temper tantrum. Yup, still feisty, just like you remember me.

I cooked for my wedding. Pretty crazy, I know. I think that might have made you smile to know how hard I worked and how stubborn I was to do it all myself (with J-L's help of course).

We're very happy. I'm quite pleasantly surprised how easily I've become accustomed to sharing my life with someone. He's very good to me and we love each other and make a good team.

We're trying to get pregnant. I can see you smile about that too (perhaps telling us to keep practicing). That smile that makes my eyes well up at any given moment. That understated smile that hid beneath your eyebrows. I hope I never forget that smile. What a feeling that was to say something or do something that would be worthy of that smile. I want to walk into the kitchen to see you sitting there with your Time magazine, your wife's cooking and your smile. It breaks my heart that my children will never get to see it.

And here I sit crying at work. I really should stop before someone comes in.

I'm sure there are a lot of other things I could tell you but this one's going to be short. Mostly I just wanted to tell you that I miss you.

With love,
Betsy Blue



1 Comments:

Blogger Heather Plett said...

Oh sure - make me cry at work!

2:53 PM  

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