Wednesday, November 21, 2007

And there it was.

Since the moment we realized back in September that I hadn't had a period I have been very skeptical about this pregnancy. We hadn't even started trying. It took us 6 months of trying the first time around. This just seemed very unlikely. Maybe there was some other reason I missed my cycle (the stress of moving? just going off the pill?)? And yet, it never came. And October came and still nothing. Perhaps?

But we waited to tell people until Abby's birthday. And even then we only told our close friends and family. There have been so many miscarriages around me. I just didn't want to get my hopes up. I didn't want to start feeling confident.

And then you add to it that I was sick 24/7 with my first pregnancy and not at ALL with this one. Weird. Suspicious (at least to someone like me who's often suspicious).

Plus, there was that fall down the stairs. That fall where I was protecting Abby but then later feared for the unborn child inside me. That has haunted me since the moment it happened.

And yet first the stick confirmed it back on Thanksgiving weekend and then the doctor did several weeks ago. Okay, but I'm still doubtful.

But then came yesterday. The second doctor's appointment. The internal. The blood tests. The weigh-in (sigh). And...

The fetal doppler.

She wasn't sure she'd be able to hear anything. At 12 weeks (our guess) it's not always possible. I said a prayer. I needed to hear it.

And I did. That little tiny heartbeat so different from my own. I didn't think it would be as significant as hearing Abby's but it was.

And I cried. And I have hope and love and I feel very, very blessed.

12 Comments:

Blogger pamero said...

Oh man, you had me worried there for a moment. Then you had me choked up until finally the tears came...because I am so very happy for you, JL & Abby. And I can't WAIT to meet your newest blessing.

9:30 AM  
Anonymous Nichole said...

Oh! Oh! Congratulations!! I'm so excited for you all!! Hence the exclamation-point storm!!!

(You had me worried, too.)

11:48 AM  
Blogger Accidental Poet said...

Had me worried too. Tease :)

And then you made me cry ...

12:19 PM  
Blogger Stephanie said...

EEEEEEEEEE! I'm all weepy now, and I am SO thrilled for you, JL and Abby. Congratulations.

Hallelujah for heartbeats. A phenomenal sound.

12:48 PM  
Blogger Heather said...

Ah, that sweet, sweet sound! I can totally relate. Even with the fourth (maybe ESPECIALLY with the fourth, in our case), the heartbeat is the sweetest sound in the world.

1:30 PM  
Blogger Krista said...

Yay! Yay! Yay! Yay! Yay! Yay! Yay!

That's all I can think of to say. So happy for you guys!

3:06 PM  
Blogger Jody said...

Oh WOW!! Congratulations! How wonderful!!

I feel so happy for you! Enjoy your pregnancy!

5:28 PM  
Anonymous darien said...

I'm happy for you too! Wow, that's really wonderful news today!

6:49 PM  
Blogger kimberlalee said...

I was probably one of the last people in the world to find out, but now I know...
I'm so happy for you and JL and Abby. Glad to hear everything is alright.

10:16 AM  
Anonymous raehan said...

Oh Wow! That is fantastic news.

I completely get this post, being pregnant myself but having had friends and family have miscarriages since my last pregnancy. I was more cautious at the beginning, so the first early ultrasound with heartbeat (8 weeks) was HUGE.

You are my preggers buddy now. CCAP, two is great. You are truly blessed, and everything will be okay. I worried so much about what two would be like and it is better than one. Really.

7:52 PM  
Blogger Linda said...

Let me add my congratulations too! Perhaps you will be able to actually enjoy this pregnancy.

4:39 AM  
Blogger Cakes said...

jumping out of lurkdom to say Congratulations!

11:35 PM  

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