The Scar
A lot of women say that it fades. A friend of mine says that after 5 years she actually has to search for hers.
When they meet with you before the surgery they reassure you that they do it as low as it can possibly go so that it will always be hidden.
I understand why a lot of women would want that. I am not one of those women. I want it to stay. I want it to be more visible to more people. I want my grandchildren to touch it one day and to celebrate with me that because it exists they exist as well.
The Birth
A dear friend of mine will be birthing her second child shortly. I am celebrating with her. She is having a water birth in her home. I feel sudden pangs of jealousy as I look at the photos of them setting up the pool. I wanted that. I wanted to tell Jack stories about how he was born at home and how his big sister came into the room shortly after the birth to see Mom and babe in the pool together, crying together. I wanted the comfort of home surrounding me during all the pain of childbirth. And yet, it's amazing how quickly that jealousy passes when I hear that little boy laugh.
A lot of women say that it fades. A friend of mine says that after 5 years she actually has to search for hers.
When they meet with you before the surgery they reassure you that they do it as low as it can possibly go so that it will always be hidden.
I understand why a lot of women would want that. I am not one of those women. I want it to stay. I want it to be more visible to more people. I want my grandchildren to touch it one day and to celebrate with me that because it exists they exist as well.
The Birth
A dear friend of mine will be birthing her second child shortly. I am celebrating with her. She is having a water birth in her home. I feel sudden pangs of jealousy as I look at the photos of them setting up the pool. I wanted that. I wanted to tell Jack stories about how he was born at home and how his big sister came into the room shortly after the birth to see Mom and babe in the pool together, crying together. I wanted the comfort of home surrounding me during all the pain of childbirth. And yet, it's amazing how quickly that jealousy passes when I hear that little boy laugh.
posted by ccap at 1:00 PM
1 Comments:
don't know that i should be the one responding but...
this is a beautiful post
and there are wordsthat just want to be said - like "he's yours!" and "oh i wish i could hear that laugh" and "you went through an awful lot to bring him here; i think he and his children will treasure that scar just as they're bound to treasure the woman who invites them to run their fingers along it and remember"
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