Wherein my sarcasm gets the best of me.
I recognize that I'm not a songwriter. I know that I'd probably do poorly at it and due to that, haven't really tried. And yet, there are times when it just doesn't seem fair that some songs get famous. Many, many times. Take this little number that I heard on the radio just the other day. It wasn't until I started singing along (she admits, sheepishly) that I realized how odd this song is.
Islands In The Stream
Baby, when I met you there was peace unknown [um, so, she DIDN’T give you peace?]
I set out to get you with a fine tooth comb [WHAT? A COMB?]
I was soft inside, there was somethin' going on [Yeah, it’s called food poisoning.]
You do something to me that I can't explain [Ahh, so THAT clarifies this confusing song.]
Hold me closer and I feel no pain [Well, not TOO close ‘cause then I DO feel pain.]
Every beat of my heart
We got somethin' goin' on [Yup, I double-checked, it’s "we". Apparently "we’ve" is just not artistic enough?]
Tender love is blind [So, you wrote that down and thought "oooh, this is GOOD!"?]
It requires a dedication
All this love we feel
Needs no conversation [‘Kay, here’s a suggestion: SHUT-UP then.]
We ride it together, ah-ah [Blush.]
Makin' love with each other, ah-ah [snicker.]
Islands in the stream [What?]
That is what we are [Huh?]
No one in-between [Are these just random bits thrown together to be a chorus?]
How can we be wrong [Well, I can think of ONE way: pretending you’re songwriters.]
Sail away with me to another world [I thought you were islands? I’m so confused.]
And we rely on each other, ah-ah
From one lover to another, ah-ah [‘Kay I’m definitely not catching on here. So, she’s just kind of your "for now" lover? Until you get to the next one?]
I can't live without you if the love was gone [I know I’m getting repetitive here but "huh?"]
Everything is nothin' if you got no one [Whoa! Mind blowing.]
And you did walk in tonight
Slowly losen' sight of the real thing [So, grammar is just not an issue when you’re a songwriter?]
But that won't happen to us and we got no doubt
Too deep in love and we got no way out [Help! The island is sinking!]
And the message is clear [Well, not exactly CLEAR.]
This could be the year for the real thing [Ah, so the Real Thing is just for this YEAR. Ah, I’m getting it now. "from one lover to another." Mmm-hmm. I hear ya!]
No more will you cry [Wow! That’s some promise!]
Baby, I will hurt you never [Really? Never? Now you’re just being silly, right?]
We start and end as one, in love forever [Um, so you’re kinda like God? But like a couple?]
We can ride it together, ah-ah
Makin' love with each other, ah-ah
Islands In The Stream
Baby, when I met you there was peace unknown [um, so, she DIDN’T give you peace?]
I set out to get you with a fine tooth comb [WHAT? A COMB?]
I was soft inside, there was somethin' going on [Yeah, it’s called food poisoning.]
You do something to me that I can't explain [Ahh, so THAT clarifies this confusing song.]
Hold me closer and I feel no pain [Well, not TOO close ‘cause then I DO feel pain.]
Every beat of my heart
We got somethin' goin' on [Yup, I double-checked, it’s "we". Apparently "we’ve" is just not artistic enough?]
Tender love is blind [So, you wrote that down and thought "oooh, this is GOOD!"?]
It requires a dedication
All this love we feel
Needs no conversation [‘Kay, here’s a suggestion: SHUT-UP then.]
We ride it together, ah-ah [Blush.]
Makin' love with each other, ah-ah [snicker.]
Islands in the stream [What?]
That is what we are [Huh?]
No one in-between [Are these just random bits thrown together to be a chorus?]
How can we be wrong [Well, I can think of ONE way: pretending you’re songwriters.]
Sail away with me to another world [I thought you were islands? I’m so confused.]
And we rely on each other, ah-ah
From one lover to another, ah-ah [‘Kay I’m definitely not catching on here. So, she’s just kind of your "for now" lover? Until you get to the next one?]
I can't live without you if the love was gone [I know I’m getting repetitive here but "huh?"]
Everything is nothin' if you got no one [Whoa! Mind blowing.]
And you did walk in tonight
Slowly losen' sight of the real thing [So, grammar is just not an issue when you’re a songwriter?]
But that won't happen to us and we got no doubt
Too deep in love and we got no way out [Help! The island is sinking!]
And the message is clear [Well, not exactly CLEAR.]
This could be the year for the real thing [Ah, so the Real Thing is just for this YEAR. Ah, I’m getting it now. "from one lover to another." Mmm-hmm. I hear ya!]
No more will you cry [Wow! That’s some promise!]
Baby, I will hurt you never [Really? Never? Now you’re just being silly, right?]
We start and end as one, in love forever [Um, so you’re kinda like God? But like a couple?]
We can ride it together, ah-ah
Makin' love with each other, ah-ah
posted by ccap at 1:00 PM
5 Comments:
Just wanted to let you know I spent the day avoiding work and getting to know you, via raehan... you've had quite a whirlwind 2.5 years, no?
I like your addiction to song lyrics (and I never knew that the toto lyric was rising like Olympus... I thought he said something like Memphis...) and your lists.
Thanks for helping me relax!
(*)>
I understand your feelings towards these lyrics. I am surrounded by young people (only that's not an excuse) who listen to songs that I find silly and sometimes offensive. The radio is often on in the background and I hear their choices. Unfortunately, songs like "I was walking with a ghost" stick in my head and in the end I know all the lyrics to songs I don't even like.
"Islands in the Stream" was my very first favorite song! I think it was all the "uh-huhs."
Too funny. :-)
Hey, remember when we used to get each other with fine-toothed combs? You just bend it back and smack the other person on the butt with it. Maybe that's what the songwriter had in mind. Maybe it's some kind of ancient courtship ritual. Funny how these pathetic lyrics are so much fun to sing along with. I think it's the cool harmonies.
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