My Two Cents
Warning: This post is about the Oscar show. If you don't care in the least bit about the Oscars and/or you didn't watch the extravaganza last night you may want to skip by this post completely.
Moments I liked
- The interpretive dancers. My favorites: The Oscar and the van from Little Miss Sunshine.
- The song with Jack Black, Will Ferrell, John C. Reilly. Smile. “I’m going to play the armless/legless man who teaches gangbangers Hamlet.”
- The sound effects choir.
Ellen. Now given, I already like her so I’m probably not the best judge of whether she made a good host.
- Giving the screenplay to Martin Scorsese. (Did anyone else wonder if those were just blank pages or if they were filled?)
- Getting Spielberg to take a photo of her and Clint Eastwood.
- “Whoa! I wouldn't want to follow that! Our next presenters are…” Not everyone can get away with using the same joke twice but she pulled it off.
In the “okay, ENOUGH already” category: The Al Gore love that went on. Puhlease. I don’t necessarily disagree with his politics but I don’t want to hear about them over and over again at a party.
In the “huh?” category: What is Gwenyth Paltrow doing sitting in the front row? Seriously. I mean, I like her well enough but what has she done lately that makes her worthy of front row seats?
In the “I’m so busy trying to figure that out that I've completely missed what they’re talking about” category: The brooch/dress embellishment Catherine Deneuve was wearing. What was that? It looked like a rose with a dagger piercing through it complete with blood dripping down. Odd.
In the “that’s so frightening I need to look away” category: Nicole Kidman. She looks as though she weighs about 83 pounds, has had a bit too much botox and… that bow on her shoulder? Heh?
In the “that’s so frightening I need to look away – Part 2” category: Jennifer Hudson singing. I thought we were definitely heading for a wardrobe malfunction. Those things were scaring me a little bit.
In the “that’s simply bad planning” category: For the first screenplay award we have Tom Hanks and Helen Mirren reading bits from the screenplays. I could listen to their voices indefinitely. For the second screenplay award? Kirsten Dunst and Tobey Maguire. Oh dear.
In the “okay, I really like you but that was an odd choice” category: Helen Mirren, holding up her Oscar proclaiming: “I give you the queen”.
In the “okay, I really like you but that was an odd choice – Part 2” category: Philip Seymour Hoffman. Seriously, get that man a comb.
In the “Phew, you should count yourselves lucky that you had Meryl Streep to save you” category: Anne Hathaway and Emily Blunt attempting a lame Devil Wears Prada schtick.
In the “Really? What are they doing presenting Oscars?” category: Ben Affleck, Jessica Biel, Jennifer Lopez, Jerry Seinfeld
Looking fabulous? Helen Mirren, Jodie Foster, Kate Winslet, Rachel Weisz
Not so much? Nicole Kidman, Cameron Diaz, Jennifer Hudson in that bolero
My favorite Dreamgirl? Anika Noni Rose. And I haven’t even seen the movie.
Note to the President of the Academy: No one really wants to hear you speak – even if it’s sped up.
Note to the director of the Academy Awards: Want some ways to shorten the show? Here are a few ideas:
- Get rid of the backstage guy. Seriously, who was he even?
- Ditch Celine Dion singing a song that wasn't even from a movie.
- Ditch the montages. Okay, I’ll give you the memoriam one but that’s it. What was up with that one about writers in the movies? Or foreign films from the past? Or the one about movies from America?
- End the honorary Oscars. Or at the very least, make them last as long as any of the awards. Seriously, I think if the awards to Ennio Morricone and Sherry Lansing had been cut out the show would have been shorter by at least half an hour.
In the "oh my good heavens, is she seriously THAT shallow?" category: Me. Because, I'm not done yet. A second Oscar post (about OUR party, specifically, the food) to follow.
Moments I liked
- The interpretive dancers. My favorites: The Oscar and the van from Little Miss Sunshine.
- The song with Jack Black, Will Ferrell, John C. Reilly. Smile. “I’m going to play the armless/legless man who teaches gangbangers Hamlet.”
- The sound effects choir.
Ellen. Now given, I already like her so I’m probably not the best judge of whether she made a good host.
- Giving the screenplay to Martin Scorsese. (Did anyone else wonder if those were just blank pages or if they were filled?)
- Getting Spielberg to take a photo of her and Clint Eastwood.
- “Whoa! I wouldn't want to follow that! Our next presenters are…” Not everyone can get away with using the same joke twice but she pulled it off.
In the “okay, ENOUGH already” category: The Al Gore love that went on. Puhlease. I don’t necessarily disagree with his politics but I don’t want to hear about them over and over again at a party.
In the “huh?” category: What is Gwenyth Paltrow doing sitting in the front row? Seriously. I mean, I like her well enough but what has she done lately that makes her worthy of front row seats?
In the “I’m so busy trying to figure that out that I've completely missed what they’re talking about” category: The brooch/dress embellishment Catherine Deneuve was wearing. What was that? It looked like a rose with a dagger piercing through it complete with blood dripping down. Odd.
In the “that’s so frightening I need to look away” category: Nicole Kidman. She looks as though she weighs about 83 pounds, has had a bit too much botox and… that bow on her shoulder? Heh?
In the “that’s so frightening I need to look away – Part 2” category: Jennifer Hudson singing. I thought we were definitely heading for a wardrobe malfunction. Those things were scaring me a little bit.
In the “that’s simply bad planning” category: For the first screenplay award we have Tom Hanks and Helen Mirren reading bits from the screenplays. I could listen to their voices indefinitely. For the second screenplay award? Kirsten Dunst and Tobey Maguire. Oh dear.
In the “okay, I really like you but that was an odd choice” category: Helen Mirren, holding up her Oscar proclaiming: “I give you the queen”.
In the “okay, I really like you but that was an odd choice – Part 2” category: Philip Seymour Hoffman. Seriously, get that man a comb.
In the “Phew, you should count yourselves lucky that you had Meryl Streep to save you” category: Anne Hathaway and Emily Blunt attempting a lame Devil Wears Prada schtick.
In the “Really? What are they doing presenting Oscars?” category: Ben Affleck, Jessica Biel, Jennifer Lopez, Jerry Seinfeld
Looking fabulous? Helen Mirren, Jodie Foster, Kate Winslet, Rachel Weisz
Not so much? Nicole Kidman, Cameron Diaz, Jennifer Hudson in that bolero
My favorite Dreamgirl? Anika Noni Rose. And I haven’t even seen the movie.
Note to the President of the Academy: No one really wants to hear you speak – even if it’s sped up.
Note to the director of the Academy Awards: Want some ways to shorten the show? Here are a few ideas:
- Get rid of the backstage guy. Seriously, who was he even?
- Ditch Celine Dion singing a song that wasn't even from a movie.
- Ditch the montages. Okay, I’ll give you the memoriam one but that’s it. What was up with that one about writers in the movies? Or foreign films from the past? Or the one about movies from America?
- End the honorary Oscars. Or at the very least, make them last as long as any of the awards. Seriously, I think if the awards to Ennio Morricone and Sherry Lansing had been cut out the show would have been shorter by at least half an hour.
In the "oh my good heavens, is she seriously THAT shallow?" category: Me. Because, I'm not done yet. A second Oscar post (about OUR party, specifically, the food) to follow.
posted by ccap at 11:51 AM
10 Comments:
Ha! This was great.
I love the Oscars, but I''m always a bit puzzled by the Best Picture choice.
you made me WISH i had watched it. your review is way better than the paper's.
Yah! I can't wait for the second post and I was even AT the party. Oh wait, maybe it's becaue I was at the party ;)
i watched every moment and about every other moment, i thought, "i wonder what Cynthia and crew thought of that!?!" haha... wish I had been there with you, but I did get my whole living room painted in the time that barbara started, and ellen ended! haha
MISS you all like crazy!
Awww... Joyska! I missed you there, too! It was good fun (and good food!)
Korey's watching it as I type (another U of M assignment) and I'm checking in now and then. Kind of interest to read your review of what I see "live" before my eyes. We get American broadcasts a little later out here...
If anybody should have had front row seats, it should have been you. Like Joyska, I can't watch the Oscars without thinking of you.
I watched the whole show. First time ever. I would have loved to watch it with you.
I agree with most of your assessments-especially those of Al Gore. I thought I would puke if they gave him a standing ovation which could have very easily happened.
I watched it and and then taped it for the last hour or so. I loved being able to fast-forward through the nominations and thank-yous and (yawn) performances to the Ellen parts. Except she wasn't on as nearly as much as I had hoped she'd be. Thank God for her wit and humor or the show would be hopelessly boring. Except to critique on the outfits.
I agree with Pam and Corrie. I cannot wait for the 2nd post and I was at the party. Joyska, thought of you a couple of times, the Oscars and New Year's Eve are just not the same without you. Cynthia, great time, great hostess. And to add to your post, what the heck was the montage Will Smith introduced anyway, no one seems to know.
Oh, exactly. All of it. The red dress, Philip Seymour Hoffman, and Jodie Foster looking fabulous.
Fabulous recap.
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