Friday, July 18, 2008

Ah, yes, I have become a cliché

I'm struggling these days with self esteem. It's a bit odd to me in a way as I'm a relatively confident person. And yet... these days I've been feeling a bit lacking. I don't feel as though I'm a good wife. I feel as though more often than not I'm not that great a mom or a good friend. I feel fat and unattractive. Even in areas I normally feel confident fail me right now: I feel like a lousy cook, a bad photographer, a failing employee...

And I could go on and on. Frick, I've become an Oprah episode about Moms and Their Self Esteem Issues.

Yuck.

Blech.

I'm hoping it's momentary because I don't really dig OTHERS who wallow in self doubt and pity I HARDLY want to see it in myself.

And yet, I can make this boy smile like no one else can. Not even his dad, his sister or gas can bring it out to the same degree I can. And THAT'S what I'm focusing on for right now.

5 Comments:

Blogger ... said...

oh, he is way too cute! Well, not too cute, but Ican'twaittomeethim-cute.

And that's not an Oprah cliche. That's Dr. Phil!

hang in there sweetie. You'll just have to accept that you are all those positives that you can't feel right now.

6:12 PM  
Anonymous Nichole said...

What a wonderful smile! I hope the self-esteem comes back soon.

7:47 PM  
Anonymous Wendy said...

Oh, he IS adorable!

And just so you know,
it sounds more like honesty-about-how-you're-feeling than like wallowing.
And you - and probably most of your friends - value people who dare to ask the hard questions in life. I know I do.
I'm not sure exactly what I'm trying to say except that I'm hoping you understand that it's OK with me if you admit to feeling lousy more often than not. Not only is it OK but it's something that tells me where you're at and how I can walk alongside with you. Lord knows I have plenty of those days myself.

11:18 AM  
Blogger Jody said...

What a cutie!

I am in touch with those emotions. For me, it seems that exercise has helped 100%. On the days when I can't get moving, I feel my worst.

Hope you feel better soon!

10:15 AM  
Blogger Judy said...

Just passing by to get a peek at that boy I prayed for.

Oh, my. THRIVING, I see!

8:36 PM  

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