2007: Expanded
Since I can't really think of much else to write about at this moment I thought I would expand on my previous post. The fear might not be for what you think it is.
Fear of buying a house: I graduated high school 19 years ago this year. Since that time I have gone on a trip nearly every single year. There may be one or two exceptions but they were rare. Some of the trips were small (Jasper/Banff), some medium (San Francisco, Vermont, Boston, NYC twice) and some were major (Australia, Europe twice) but all of them were good. Frankly, having a trip to look forward to is like a drug for me: addicting, euphoric and something I would do at any cost. I don't know of many people who can say that they've been on a trip nearly every year. And, of those that have been, very few own a house. Do you catch my drift here? I am terrified that those two items are mutually exclusive. That you either travel or own a home. And, that, my friends, is why I am one of those slightly pathetic people that still live in an apartment at the age of 37. I would pick travel over home ownership any day. But, alas, now I have a child. And, it's not all about me. And, I desperately want her to have a backyard to run around in. Here's hoping (and praying) she can have both that and see the world with her mom & dad.
Fear of trying for a second child: Yes, labour was rough and horrible and lasted far too long. But that's not the scary part for me. Not even close. Pregnancy was just so very hard on me. So very, very hard. Emotionally, physically... the whole shebang. Frankly, I'm sitting here crying right now just remembering it. They say you forget. I haven't. I wonder if I ever will. And the thought of actually choosing to go through that again makes me nearly sick to my stomach. So, if anyone wants to start up a collection for me to fly to Africa to adopt a baby I will be the willing recipient.
Fear of buying a house: I graduated high school 19 years ago this year. Since that time I have gone on a trip nearly every single year. There may be one or two exceptions but they were rare. Some of the trips were small (Jasper/Banff), some medium (San Francisco, Vermont, Boston, NYC twice) and some were major (Australia, Europe twice) but all of them were good. Frankly, having a trip to look forward to is like a drug for me: addicting, euphoric and something I would do at any cost. I don't know of many people who can say that they've been on a trip nearly every year. And, of those that have been, very few own a house. Do you catch my drift here? I am terrified that those two items are mutually exclusive. That you either travel or own a home. And, that, my friends, is why I am one of those slightly pathetic people that still live in an apartment at the age of 37. I would pick travel over home ownership any day. But, alas, now I have a child. And, it's not all about me. And, I desperately want her to have a backyard to run around in. Here's hoping (and praying) she can have both that and see the world with her mom & dad.
Fear of trying for a second child: Yes, labour was rough and horrible and lasted far too long. But that's not the scary part for me. Not even close. Pregnancy was just so very hard on me. So very, very hard. Emotionally, physically... the whole shebang. Frankly, I'm sitting here crying right now just remembering it. They say you forget. I haven't. I wonder if I ever will. And the thought of actually choosing to go through that again makes me nearly sick to my stomach. So, if anyone wants to start up a collection for me to fly to Africa to adopt a baby I will be the willing recipient.
posted by ccap at 5:36 PM
4 Comments:
Hey, We travelled to Paris with a three year old, a one year old and a house at home.
Also...I HATED pregancy both times around, but you know what? I have a secret. Time flies much faster the second time around. It's true.
It's some weird myth that pregnancy is all glowing bliss. There is prenatal depression as well as postpartum depression. I hear you honey... I hear you. And travel and homeowning are NOT exclusive! You own a slightly smaller home, or decorate in early american castoff and you can travel to your hearts content!
I hear you.
Me, too. I'm listening.
Something very interesting: you have been in my thoughts so often this week - walking to and from the bus, especially. Even before I read your 2007 posts. I love the way Life keeps us in tune with our friends. I'll keep listening.
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