Thursday Thirteen - total cheaty cutandpaste kind

The Office season premiere is tonight. I loooove that show. So, today, a post honoring some of the humor.

13 Quotes from The Office
1) Jim: Because right now, this is a job. If I advance any higher, this would be my career. And if this were my career, I'd have to throw myself in front of a train.

2) Jim: Last night on "Trading Spouses," there's... did you see it?
Pam: No, I have a life.
Jim: Interesting, what's that like?
Pam: You should try it some time.
Jim: Wow. But then who would watch my TV?

3) Dwight: Okay, first, let's go over some parameters. How many people can I fire?
Michael: Uh, none: you're picking a health care plan.

4) Dwight: Studies show that more information is passed through water cooler gossip than through official memos, which puts me at a disadvantage because
[picks up water bottle]
Dwight: I bring my own water to work.

5) Michael: Would I rather be feared or loved? Um... Easy, both. I want people to be afraid of how much they love me.

6) Jim: My roommate wants to meet everybody. Because I'm pretty sure he thinks I'm making Dwight up.
[takes a deep breath, shakes head]
Jim: He is very real.
[sighs]

7) Michael: Dwight, what is your middle name?
Dwight: Danger.
Michael: It's something with a "K"...
Jim: It's Kurt... wow, it's so sad that I know that.

8) Michael: Last week I would've given a kidney to anyone in this office. I would've reached right into my stomach and pulled it out for them. But now, no. I don't have the relationship with these people that I thought I did. I hope they ask, so they can hear me say, "Uh, no, I only give my organs to my real friends. Go get yourself a monkey kidney."

9) Jim: Sometimes I send Dwight faxes from himself in the future.
Dwight: [reading fax] Dear Dwight, Someone will poison the coffee this morning. Do not drink the coffee! More instructions will follow. From Future Dwight
[sees Stanley about to drink the coffee and jumps for the cup]
Dwight: NO STANLEY!

10) Michael: Actually, this would be good practice for your wedding toast.
Pam: Um, the bride doesn't...Have you ever been to a wedding?

11) Michael: I love inside jokes. I'd like to be a part of one some day.

12) Jan: Well Michael, I...underestimated you.
Michael: Well maybe next time you'll estimate me.

13) Jim: Do you think Dwight's being a little weird today?
Pam: No, he's actually been really nice and helpful.
Jim: And that isn't weird?
Pam: Wow.