Friday, July 25, 2008

Oh dear, perhaps I am getting old

Abby, Jack and I just got back from a little adventure. We took the bus to The Forks to meet their dad for lunch. On the way back the bus was packed. I had full intentions of standing like so many were but a nice (good looking) young man offered up his seat to Abby. It feels like only a few short years ago I would have glanced at him and thought "mmm. nice. I wonder if he's single." and now I glance at him and think "goodness, I hope my son grows up to be the fine young gentleman you are".

Tuesday, July 22, 2008

The question is...

do *I* say "please Abby, leave him alone, he's sleeping" or does SHE say "I want to do it mySELF" more often in one day?

Friday, July 18, 2008

Ah, yes, I have become a cliché

I'm struggling these days with self esteem. It's a bit odd to me in a way as I'm a relatively confident person. And yet... these days I've been feeling a bit lacking. I don't feel as though I'm a good wife. I feel as though more often than not I'm not that great a mom or a good friend. I feel fat and unattractive. Even in areas I normally feel confident fail me right now: I feel like a lousy cook, a bad photographer, a failing employee...

And I could go on and on. Frick, I've become an Oprah episode about Moms and Their Self Esteem Issues.



I'm hoping it's momentary because I don't really dig OTHERS who wallow in self doubt and pity I HARDLY want to see it in myself.

And yet, I can make this boy smile like no one else can. Not even his dad, his sister or gas can bring it out to the same degree I can. And THAT'S what I'm focusing on for right now.

Friday, July 04, 2008

Q is for...

Also entitled "A Day in the Life".*
Also entitled "If You Think This is a Long Post You Should Try Living it".

The way I see it, this post will likely bring about a variety of reactions. Some of you may have misty water-coloured memories. Some of you will be saying a little prayer of thanks to God that YOUR children were not this exhausting. Some of you may be thankful that you are Past This Stage. And others might be doubling up on the birth control after this. And perhaps there are one or two of you who will choose to enjoy babyhood a little more.

It is imperative to me that you realize that every word I type in this post is true. There is no embellishment for drama and nothing has been added. If anything, things have been missed due to the speed in which she can ask and the speed at which I can write. This also does not include any one word questions and there must have been about 234 "Why?" questions thrown in for good measure. It also does not include statements. We do occasionally have regular conversations. But in this post, only the questions. These are the Days of My Life. I doubt there are many who will make it all the way through. (Other than perhaps the co-parent.) But, that's okay, I'm typing this down for posterity more than anything. And, truthfully, recording it helped humour me this morning.

And now, on with the show. (Parts in blue italics are my explanations. All the rest is 100% Abby.)

During our bath this morning. She has foam alphabets in the bath:
What K mean? (anyone?)
What "Alberta" start with?
What "Caleb" start with?
Where Auntie Pam?
Why Mommy use white towel?

Getting dressed:

Whose diapers are these?
Why my wear diapers at bedtime?
Where my pillow?
Why red hanger here?
What Jack wearing?
What this say?
Jack poop again?
What's this, Mom?
What that lotion called?
Why do I have feet?
What Lysol for?
Why are you putting that shirt on?
Where Little Jack?

During breakfast:
Where put Little Jack?
Where my toast?
Where going?
Too hot?

During her morning tv show - Doodlebops:
Who's your favourite? (character)
Who's my favourite?
Who's Daddy's favourite?
Which button shut off? (the remote)

A little time of stickers. She has trouble with "st":
Where this go?
What writing? (your questions, honey, madly writing all your questions)
What it for?
Where glue?
In peeker (computer) room?
What writing, Mom?
Where dickers?

Trying to finish up my coffee before heading out for a walk:
Where buying Auntie Pam's books?
What CAA?
Where CAA?
Why finish coffee?
Why black coffee?
What that say?
Where Auntie Marja?
Where cabin?
Who's in that picture? (multiplied by about 48. She was paging through a photo album.)
Where shoes? (someone was barefoot in one photo)
What they painting?
Where my grandpa?
Where my grandma?
Finish coffee?
Why long walk?
Done coffee?
Finish coffee now?

And we're off for our walk:
What stroller?
Where my sandals?
When eat my banana?
When walking? (in reference to said banana and the fact that I didn't want her to have it yet)
Now my push?
What this for? (a reflector. Must have fallen off someone's bike. Did they not KNOW it would concern my daughter?)
Where going?
What doing at store?
What you doing when my in stroller?
Why dop? (again with the "st" problem)
Where that grandma from? (in reference to an older lady we passed on the sidewalk)
Where my grandma?
Where my grandpa?
Why dop? (most of the time it was to write out more questions that I was afraid I'd forget)
What that song called? (one of her favourite questions. I had the audacity to start singing.)
Where Daddy work?
Where Mommy work?
What did you do last night? (incidentally, I had my Second Outing Without Children. A movie and coffee.)
What movie called?
What eat there? (I don't always eat at movies but as I mentioned earlier, it was my Second Outing. Big deal. Snacks deserved. Abby, on the other hand, thinks the main reason to GO to movies is the snacks involved.)
What Auntie Pam drink? (Sorry, Pam, I forgot to take notice. Perhaps you can tell her the next time you see her.)
What you drink?
What kind of candy you have?
That candy good?
What that? (a tacky deer lawn ornament)
Why little deer?
What for? (one of the unanswerable questions. What ARE tacky lawn ornaments for?)
Will we bring our new plates and cups? (camping came up)
Why that a green house?
Going right there?
What that for? (fire hydrant)
Going right there?
What doing tomorrow? (she appears to be a planner like her father)
Where going?
Where Auntie Pam going? (on holidays)
What doing there? (Pam, can you help me out here?)
Where our going on holiday?
Where Oregon?
Why blanket? (on Jack)
Why dop? (again, need to jot these down as they fly at me a mile a minute)
Why Jack have 2 cupholders? (on his stroller seat)
Bring special chairs camping? (she is so looking forward to camping. Hopefully it lives up to her expectations. Although, in a kid who jumps up and down in delight at the thought of iced tea, it likely will.)
Why Dad got a new one? (plate. Again, with the camping.)
What song called? (some construction guys listening to a tune.)
Where our home?
Where bus going?
Why bus stopped?
What book called?
Why only one?
Now my have my banana?
How do this? (in reference to peeling the banana. Believe me, I would have gladly done it for her but she is VERY MUCH from the school of "my do it mySELF".)
What having? (for lunch)
What kind of pizza?

Time for a brief break (from walking, not from the questions) in the park. A little time to feed Jack and some time playing:
What horse say?
How get down? (from the play structure)
These steps?
Why sand right here? (could be because it was a sandbox but what do I know. Hey, not all her questions are brilliant.)
Why 10 more pushes? (on swing.)
What my doing after lunch?
Why going home?
Where my shoes?
Where our home?
What having for lunch?
Going home?

Back on the walk:
Why dop?
What having supper? (incidentally, J-L, if you're reading this and you made it this far, I was thinking we'd barbecue. Too hot to cook inside.)
Daddy cooking?
How 'bout cheese?
Where going?
That grocery store, Mom?

A stop at the grocery store for a few things for supper:
Having salad with our hamburgers?
Where going now, Mom?
What my doing after lunch? (a nap, sweetie. You MUST get tired sometimes. If you don't, I do.)
Where our car?

Back on the sidewalk, walking the final stretch home:
Why going home?
What you doing when I go nap?
Why drink it all? (incidentally, she'd had more than half of the water but since I drank the last sip apparently *I* drank it ALL.)
Why dop?
Where Kai house? (Sorry, Krista, I have no idea.)
Where Kai live?
Why going home?
Why dop?
What that song called? (again, I had started singing. She desperately needs to know names of songs. I'm not good at making them up and J-L's made up names (eg. "floogy-floogy" or "the cheese song") do not fool her in the least so we pretty much need to have legitimate names.)

Back home, time for lunch:
Why having pizza?
Where my bib?
Why having nap after lunch? (again, likely more because MOM needs a break than anything.)
Where my pizza?
Where's Little Jack? (she loves her brother dearly. He must always been in viewing range.)
Why you having 2 pieces?
What's this? (multiplied by about 10. She was referring to various pizza ingredients.)
Why using Dad's cup?

Heading to bed:
You having nap with us? (no. It will likely take me your entire nap time to record all your questions from the morning.)
Why "sneaky monkey"?
Why feeding Little Jack?
Why Jack's eyes closed?

And that pretty much wraps up our morning. Is it exhausting? Yes. Are there times I try to ignore the questions? Yes. Have I been known to pull at my hair shouting "No more questions!"? Yes. And yet, I love it. I love her and I love her desire to Know What's Going On. And one day, she'll stop asking. And I can honestly say (at least I can while she's quietly sleeping) I think I will miss it.

* Although, honestly, this represents only 5.5 hours!